emotions.

I just dont know anymore.



How can I feel so much excitement, so much joy. Wondering if this is happiness or could somehow lead to happiness,

& with one L O N G heavy heartbeat, out of no where, for no reason I fill up with pure sadness.


like a rush Im here.





this is unfair.
I hate to say it, but I wanna be numb again.


why cant I just make up my mind.